Supporting my wife through her 6th.
- Strategy
- Patient journey
Kidney stones aren't news to her, she's had 5, and they get bad. Vomiting, fever, chills, ER trip usually. This one hit last night and it's being exceedingly stubborn. 2mm, small but stuck right before it enters the bladder. They gave her fluids, morphine, torodol, zofran and tylenol before she could finally sleep - and she hates pain meds. Sent home with Flomax, oxy, zofran and antibiotics (blood and some white cells in urine, worried about infection). we don't have a bathtub but we have a heated blanket and a heating pad on her. Like I said this one is particularly stubborn and the pain comes on in such intense waves I have to carry her to the bathroom.
I managed to get matzah ball soup and lemon water in her, gave her the meds and now she's asleep. But how can I further support her? I distracted her a bit by showing off my pokopia world that she got me for my bday (it made her giggle), but she's so miserable, I just want to do my best for her while she recovers. I've only had one of these before so I know the pain all too well, but usually once she feels the pain it passes within a few hours, I know this can last weeks so I'd like to get ready for the long haul. Any comfort tips would be appreciated.
Edit: thank you everyone for your great suggestions. The meds are keeping her comfortable and I've been making sure she's on time with them and getting her water. We watched her favorite shows today and looked up new soup recipes for me to try for her so she gets more fluids lol. Managed to convince her to take off work the next few days so at least she'll rest too, and I got her some new books and her favorite apple cider donut as a get well soon treat. Then yes, as someone suggested I did let her get in some wallow in her misery time because everyone needs that sometimes. I asked if I could get her anything and she looked me in the eyes and said "death". So she got a heated blanket and an oxy instead and once that hit she declared it close enough.
And to everyone telling me I'm great or she's lucky, thank you - but this is marriage. This is the 'in sickness' part. So yes, I'll set alarms for 3am to make sure she has her pain meds in her. Yes, I'll learn to make matzah ball soup from scratch because it's her favorite and she wants gallons of it right now. Yes, I'll hold her hand while she cries, make sure the room is at 80 degrees because she's cold, take on all the chores, hold her water while she sips and rub her back. She's my wife. To me, a few days of being tired and helping her are nothing compared to the 18 years of hard work and dedication she's put into us.
Comments (13)
I don’t have any suggestions but wanted to say that you’re very sweet.
I think distraction is the best tip for me. When I have stones I feel like I get too much inside my head. I think you’re doing great though and she’s lucky to have you by her side!
Thank you, it's been 18 years together and I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing her in pain. I think tomorrow I'll stop by the store and get her some new books. Maybe some snacks for a movie night if she can handle it. She already called off work for the next few days and I work from home so at least I can be with her.
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